The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, nearness, love, and well-being .

However when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay males wish to learn from the starting if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for why not find out more the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent page sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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