The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' official site person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart read (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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