The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern about his the rest as why not try this out optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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