The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that Go Here we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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