The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful read review sensations of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and nearness .

When issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay guys desire to discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you next page must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with More Bonuses your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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