The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, nearness, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay guys want to find out from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your Related Site head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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